N.B. there might (or might not) be spoilers in this article!

It’s all bollocks, of course, but it’s hugely enjoyable bollocks. Based on my memory of it, I came into The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang with seriously low expectations.

So I was rather surprised to find that not only did I enjoy it, but it might actually be my favourite story of Series Five!

From the cold open that recaps the whole series to Stone’enge! and the arrival of the Autons, Cybermen, Daleks, Sontarans, Judoon, Siluarians, Sycorax, etc, it’s one hell of a ride, even if you guess what the big bad thing inside the Pandorica is going to be.

“This is where it gets complicated.”

Amy, The Big Bang

Yes, there’s that dreaded protected in the eye of the storm cobblers again and the whole “reboot the universe” and everything will go back to normal really is the most egregious nonsense seen in one of these finales, but while it is no doubt the biggest fattest reset button we’ve had yet, it’s sooooo much better than some of the finales and specials we’ve seen previously in New Who.

Whether it’s having the exploding TARDIS as the Earth’s sun, a cheeky line about dating an Auton with a swappable head or the unbridled joy of “fezs are cool!” you’re never far from a moment to lift and distract you from the fluff. Auton Rory waiting for Amy is a nice touch too, but Nestene plastic must be sturdier stuff than its human equivalent, if he didn’t at least start to decompose!

And Matt Smith is once again astonishing, especially in the obviously sentimental rewind that bookends the cold open in tying the season together. And the dancing at the wedding. The Doctor, indeed, dances.

All this and the promise of an egyptian mummy loose on the Orient Express in space. That idea’ll keep.

But yes, complete and utter bollocks!

These are my potential Target Library titles for The Pandorica Opens / The Big Bang:
— Doctor Who and the Pandorica
— Doctor Who and the Big Bang
— Doctor Who and the Alliance of Fear